Not sure why they missed these ones.
The Dream Job: Astronaut
Floating above Earth in the absence of gravity, dangling from the mother ship by an umbilical cord, gasping at the wonder of Ma Nature, looking for the Great Wall (you can't really see it, sorry), shooting Imax movies, you are one lucky man / woman / chimp.
The Reality
Constant requisite exercise to ward off muscle atrophy. Adult diapers. Astronaut ice cream. Cabin fever.
The Dream Job: Big Game Hunter
Crouched in the jungle, the hunter lifts rifle to shoulder, taking aim at man's greatest fear. Heart pounds. Sweat beads. Time stands still. With a crash, the tiger springs, its claws extended. The hunter has become the hunted.
The Reality
Half the targets are banned, hiding out in nature preserves, shipped in from ranches in Montana, sporting ear tags placed by fervent biologists or carrying Greenpeace placards and chanting "Meat is murder." Your time has passed.
The Dream Job: High School English Teacher
We've all seen the movie: spunky, nontraditional, iconoclastic, poetry-spouting, witty, passion-filled, 24-something wins the hearts and minds of tough-talking, disaffected, disempowered punks / gangstas / goths / prep students. With a few well-timed journal prompts, everyone gets a haircut / goes to college / doesn't commit suicide / commits suicide.
The Reality
Actually, that's pretty much how it goes.
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1 comment:
HA!
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